The internet knows everything, I just don’t know what to type in…

I love theoretical car insurance quote searching. That and theoretical Auto-trader browsing. Love it. Theoretical as I don’t actually have a car, I’m not looking for one, and I can’t actually afford one, never mind the insurance, tax, and all that jazz. But it never ceases to amaze me. Either that or I’m just easily amazed.

After a bit of research I find out what makes a car cheap to insure – it most certainly isn’t me. Part of it is the engine size. So I go and run a quote on the most pathetic sized engine I can find – £742. Fair enough. Suitably ridiculous considering the car costs less than half that.

Add my girlfriend to the policy. Completely superfluous considering she’s on L-plates and I couldn’t supervise her even if I wanted. Bam, there goes 50 quid back into my pocket. Cue quizzical look.

Add my dad and uncle to the policy, again entirely arbitrary as they both own something which at least twice the cubic capacity. Bam-bam. Another fifty notes back to me. The fuck, internet, the fuck?!

To taunt myself even more, I do a bunch more quotes to find out with a year’s immaculate driving I slash 250 big ones off the price, dropping down to £200 5 years later.

Not that I can afford any of this. I’m a fricking student, and this is fricking Brighton.

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About Jack
A small-time traveller in a big-time world

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