The ins and outs of being ‘to qualified’ (sic).

Hi all. I have a backlog of half finished posts, so goodness knows why I’m writing this one, but I am.

I’ve been job hunting for ages now, and actually now have two part time, variable hours ones, but it’s been bloody difficult getting this far, and it still means I won’t have a regular enough income to afford any sort of rent in Brighton.

Here are some of the stupid things I’ve encountered between when I started searching and now.

The hypocritical automatic response emails that say something along the lines of ‘Thank you for your application. Due to the large number of applications we receive, we won’t be able to respond to all of them. If you haven’t heard from us after two weeks, please consider your application unsuccessful.’

Three things wrong with these emails – “Due to the large number of applications we receive” – How do they know how many applications they will receive before they post the vacancy. This is a bit obnoxiously presumtive.

“..we won’t be able to respond to all of them.” – Despite successfully managing to send this email to everyone that applies for the vacancy. Besides, this BS has already been disproved.

“If you haven’t heard from us after two weeks, please consider your application unsuccessful” – Should I count this email as hearing from you, in which case when would you like to see me?

Even worse than these emails are the automatic rejection ones I’ve had a lot of too. “Thank you for applying to the position of [something I’ve inevitably forgotten I’d applied to]. I regret to inform you that your application has been unsuccessful on this occassion. Due to the large number of applications we cannot provide individual feedback…”

These start off by contradicting the other sort – it evidently is possible to respond to everyone. However this response is completely useless.

Lastly the frustration I’ve had from putting a profile on recruitment websites (monster etc.), and the consequent calls and emails I’ve had.

“Hello, is that Mr Jack Paddy?”

Pady, yes.”

“Oh hello Mr Pady, are you still looking for employment?”

“Well I’m working as a steward but I’d like something full time in addition, yes.”

“Oh…well…..I’m not quite sure how you came up on my search…. Have you ever worked in the NHS?”

“No…”

“Oh on your CV it says you’ve done some work for St Wilfreds…”

“The only time I’ve worked for St Wilfreds was when I helped out at one of their fun-runs.”

“Oh. Okay then, thank you for your time.”

I’m kidding you not, I’ve had this conversation. Add to that the hassle of explaining to everyone that calls what an Ordinary degree is, followed by listening to them explain that their client is looking for “someone with a First minimum”, and I wish I’d never bothered with these sites.

One more – the one that prompted me to write this post. Nonsensical reasons for rejecting you, or worse for letting you go once you get the position. Two examples I have here – being laid off from a dining pub for being slow and not getting up to speed with the ins and outs of bar work quickly enough, despite telling them from the first opportunity that I had never worked in a bar or restaurant before. And a rejection for a blog-writing position for, and I quote the email, being “simply to qualified (sic)”. I have a degree in the subject area, and I write my own blog. I guess I should have stopped at the A-level in computing.

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About Jack
A small-time traveller in a big-time world

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